REFLECTIONS WITH A WINK

If you were to ask me what the most important advice I would give my younger self would be, I would say, to relax and keep your eyes open, you will learn all the relevant things in due time(wink).  

I feel like I am on a roll these days in the kitchen, the herbs all come together in a burst of aroma, then into flavour, the salt added to each meal no longer needs the measuring spoon's assistance, it is salt of the naked eye(wink). The soup's thickness let's you eat with the eye, way before the food touches your mouth palette, talk about an appetizer(wink)! The tomatoes succumb, no longer forming rebellions against my meal plans but pouring out their juice to let for a sumptuous presentation at the table.  

Watching those that came before us, put food before us to dine, was remarkable, their meals would keep you feeling like you must have done something right to be in food Heaven although simultaneously leaving you worrysome about whether you could ever reach that pedestal in this lifetime and cook so marvelously. Coming from a family of bland food eaters, I wondered how my mother made so much from so little. That only made things, one more fear higher for me. 

One day, life had happened in the blink of an eye and I was suddenly a wife(don't even remember how being a fiance felt), I became a mother, wooo!! I remember once putting cucumber in a fish stew, to try and add twist to the meal, that semi-quinine taste has never left my memory! But you see, it is those try outs, observing and re-dos that got us to the roll that my people and I, can now call "experiencing food" rather than an eating nightmare. I put my back into the cooking and you can feel their love in the eating. I am sure that's what they call a, "win-win!(wink)"

The family's favourite, natural turmeric and cinnamon rice😋

If you have time, time will be generous to you with experience. So really, yours is to take it easy, no fussing, just seeing, feeling, listening and noting.  Meanwhile, I think I just took yours and my time here to say, stay teachable(wink).

BIGGEST LEAP IN A LONG TIME

I thought I would write one final 2021 blog before leaping into two zero two two but clearly the leaping was more important! It really hasn't been an easy past two years for the world. 

Now here you and I are, a new slot for us in the time machine, 365 whole days to dream, look into and live a life. Talk about privledges, right?! 

Since the dream sets the pace for all else, I carve mine out with you, here and now because that power is innate. In my dream, I see a stunning rainbow giving me the hope of greatness ahead. I see more butterflies and ladybirds in the air than I can count, brightening the mood within and the aura around me, any would be distractions turn into mere faded background noise. I hear the birds chirping in melodious harmony, keeping my focus on where the positive corner is, the discovery is everything fascinating. I see a bottomless banquet of nature's way, my favourite litchis, bananas, peaches and watermelons, of course the cluck cluck animals are readying their eggs. Ooo, how have I not mentioned the refreshingly yummy minty leaves and cinnamon barks yet!! It's all there, in a beautiful grass bedded arrangement, I don't yearn for much.

 I smell freshness everywhere, undefiled air, keeping the energy nothing close to dangerous but super uphill. I shock myself with those superior yoga moves, my muscles and bones are agreeing pretty well to sculpt me into these amazingly bomb body frames. Oo la la, dreams are so valid, it's a hopeful, bright, mood lifting, focussed, positive, satisfying, nutritious and active year for me. Would you dare to dream, here and now? That's the magic portion mix that breathes life into our success. 

Amazing new year ahead to us all. Cheers.

THE "IT WASN'T ME" GAME

It's so captivating to see how with aging, a craving to learn and unlearn heightens, opening up to available options is bliss rather than felt as losing, history and the present marry to form your life's manual, reading and listening are power tools. All of us, ultimately looking for growth in it all. So allow me applaud myself and you too hopefully, for a new found love for reading and understanding of what we call, this life.

I, not too long ago, read a Chinese proverb somewhere, that said, "one who blames others is nowhere, one who blames himself is half way there and one who blames no one, has arrived." Chinese might be a big bunch of duplicators for many things but another thing they definitely are, is wise. Maybe because they sacredly keep their traditions and teachings passed on to the generations that come or maybe they duplicated these quotes from another people, who knows?! 

A lot of women especially the mothers today are trapped in a strong web by society's roles for them, what everyone expects of you becomes primary to what you want or need for yourself. It's others first and then you, just maybe. Our minds have been so far gone into this doctrine, we just see no way to save ourselves from the drowning. We know not any other way so we stick with it. But eventually, it always ends the same, another sad and miserable woman's life lived, some more dreams and world changing forces that could have been, going down the drain. 

It's easy and wouldn't be wrong to blame the world for restraining us from so many things we could be or do but that only gets you nowhere as depicted by the Chinese people. Our power lies in turning from blame into a positive mental space, a space to think solutions, a space to build attitudes that remind you of who you are meant to be. Any struggling woman out there, kids, no kids, doesn't matter,  keep this question lingering at the base of your mind for whatever you will do, "what if I were a single mum, what would I do?"

That takes the weakness of total dependancy to a whole new realm of power to give your own fight, YOUR ALL.

Of all the people that walk this Earth, single mothers go beyond what was thought possible and make homes and mostly successful humans out of what was meant to be doom. Their fight and strength is like no other, we are so proud of them. So step out of what's been decided for you or only what's given and fight for the best for you, your children, your dreams, like there was no one else left in this world to put food at your table. Always remember, it's no one's fault and you have a greater duty.

WHO'S INCOMING?

In an ideal world, which we all should be ashamed, if we are not laying our brick towards it, the availability of food for all, should be a right, punishable by law if tampered with. In that world to come, hopefully "soon and very soon," as the iconic Brenda Fassie said, to eat or not to eat would not be a question or just a dream. The way a blessing as this becomes a mother to a string of questions is what gets interesting.

Good food culture takes us far in this beautiful life..

So you will definitely eat but was this food nurtured or manufactured? If it was nurtured, did it get it's first builders, more from nature or chemistry lab fanatics? If it was manufactured, were other safe food passionates invited to the round table or was it simply concocted from the mind of a man with a dream and no vision?  If other safe food passionates were invited, did they follow protocol with you, the actual eater, at the end of the chain in mind or they used the bypass, with only their pockets in mind? If the food was simply concocted from merely a dreamer's mind, do you want to associate yourself with this kind of value set?  If the safe food passionates followed protocol and chose you over money, are you choosing them back?  If the safe food passionates used the bypass, is that the league under which your mouth should sit or deserve? Just how sacred is your mouth, the entry point to where all life begins and ends?

I have been consulting for a project lately for the formulation of a food product meant to heighten some of the many divides of body health. The impressive fact that the potential food manufacturer sought out a hand from a nutrition personnel implied how serious he takes the aspect of matching food to our bodies in a positively impactful way. I laid the burden on him to do a series of food tasting trials for this "would be product." Now for the ultimate tasters, it's an exciting adventure to take on for a day or two but for the person running the tests, a drain, would best describe it. This gentleman though, has been so compliant with my needs so I can accommodate his eventually. That's the understanding that food needs. 

Food that is bound to satisfy the needs of the body beyond what we see and taste, even as far as the type of hair on your kid's head or the average weight of their body, has to have integrity!

Now, step out of the ideal world thought, because even in the world we have been dealth with today, you still have to ask the questions here, "who have you allowed into your mouth?" Who's the incoming?

STARING INTO THE ENDLINE..

What if we had the chance to see into the future? To know what would ultimately become of us? What our endline would be? Would we press on more and fire up on all our cylinders to make or break what was visualised? 

 

I was watching a series a while back that was acted for an era when the deadly HIV/AIDS had just bombed the face of the Earth, it was being referred to as "that strange disease." It being as new and incomprehensible as COVID-19 had been, no real treatment or cure options were in sight and people were forced to just surrender to death's calendar schedule. One of the main characters of the series had obtained this tragic illness and before his death, he had had to watch his closest friends painfully waste into bone and finally succumb to the thief of life. His time was coming, he had seen into what his future would look like. He knew he couldn't control that part anymore but he could decide to make the time he had left his own crafted game. Long story short, he used a few more days to go to as many of his friends' parties and dance the tango with the love of his life, one more time before he decided he would have his life ended with a single injection, while he still was still exuberant.  

If you could visibly see how good your tomorrow could be or how bad it could get, what, about your now would you change? Is it that alcohol that is whisking you away, how about that fast food life you have been living? Maybe you haven't been paying due to your body's "nutty and veggie" needs? Or you really need to get up and start moving a bit more, your muscle and bones are losing strength?  Have you only been criticing and never acknowleged to yourself the beauty and purpose of your existence? We might not have the power to see what is to come a long time from now, but we have the power to believe for the best and work in advance for the best. Let your lifestyle lay brick for good, so one day it will all make sense!

LOST ON THE WAYSIDE

Tomorrow is not really ours because we can only be certain about the current moment, down to that split second you are living right now. Our peace though, is that tomorrow belongs in the hands of The Good Lord. As we sail through life's currents, we meet new people, some for a season and some for a lifetime but surely, all, are for a reason. 

Starting the flamboyant phase of University was such a thrill, I was open to living it all and working the book end, hard, as well. As fate would have it, to begin this phase with me, doing the same study course was a pleasant young man, named Ronald Agaba, I called him Ronnie. The man always awed me, with his composed nature, I never met someone so patient with everything in life, including himself. He also had a warmth about him that he spread everywhere he went. Truly, if you were looking for a good friend, a good student, a good tutor, a good planner, a good husband, a good boyfriend, Ronnie would have been your best pick but I must have been blind those days! 

I remember him starting a little business in a big way, right in my hostel room. He would bring tasty bread sandwiches, filled with sauteed meat mince and maybe 3 or 4 other vegetables, already made from his home, to my room. We would then pack, sell and distribute from my hostel address. I was usually his booking personnel, booking in the orders from eagerly waiting customers. I say, big way though, because even if he was selling not more than 20 sandwiches a day, they were always neatly sealed, made from the finest brown bread and always made fresh, he was a man of excellence at whatever he involved himself in. Such an impeccable being!

Our thoughts and hearts always hold a special place for good friends. Such was Ronald Agaba❤️.

As we were officially into our final school year, dreaming of our graduation outfits and reciting our graduation speeches in mind, this young man, always a topper in our class, started to have his mental health challenged, the worst bit being that he was silent about it, for the most part. The silence cost him his life, my friend died before he could finish sitting his final year exams. It all happened so quickly, it's still hard to accept, 9 years later. This was the second most painful loss I have registered in my book. 

His future seemed brighter than most of us and yet his life clock had other plans! I now can only be immensely grateful for the sandwiches, the smiles, the talk and his being, even if so shortened that it feels like I lost him on the wayside. His nature was so impactful that his memory brings light for a lifetime. My biggest lesson from the gift of Ronnie to this world is, falling in love with being the best version of yourself even at the humble stages of your life. Those were not just sandwiches he made, what he was making was, two slices of finesse, made from the heart so that another's tummy could be content and body would beam from better health. That's the spirit of excellence that Ronnie oozed and influenced, if you were blessed to be around him. Continue resting in Glory, Ronald Agaba! Till we meet again.

BE MORE THAN YOU

Pardon my honesty but we all are selfish in nature! Just that, it takes one to know one and I am as human as you.  Only looking to see that our little circle has food to eat, it doesn’t seem to matter what the rest of the world is going through. The coming of the Corona virus doesn’t make it any simpler either. Friends, workmates, church mates and even village mates, people that were once part of our one big family are now rendered strangers or just memories of a time past in our lives. 

We eat fancy, we eat behind the curtains, we eat snappy, we eat out of availability than need sometimes, trashing flesh, toppings, creamy seasonings and food slices to dogs, which really, can be just as good with bones. We do it all because we can but mostly to feed a proud “I should have it all” monster within us and not have to be judged on it.

The thing with nature you see, is! It gives opportunity for evolution. If a trait is making you weak and unfit for survival, you adapt, switch it up or completely change it, inorder to be better, to make it to a longer lifetime. You might argue that fighting for yours, is in itself surviving this tough world but could we really survive without a team, without the balance and normalcy that other human creatures like you and me bring, to make the world more livable? Once we step out of our fences, who do we need? OTHERS!

It’s time to change from who we thought we needed to be in order to live longer, to who we can actually become that would bring more meaning to this world for us and for others. WE REALLY HAVE TO GIVE MORE THAN WE TAKE FROM THIS WORLD. The divine two way thing about giving is, it will soften the receiver’s heart but it will also fulfill the giver’s heart. 

As I conclude this, I am cleaning up my pruners to head out my backyard and chop some holy basil leaf for the neighbours so they too, can have more flavourful and nutritious tea. It’s not grande but it is a spice I can use, beyond me and mine and it’s definitely a start. Well, since we are not used to these settings, I might also get the awkward “Why are you being so nice to us? Is there anything you want from us?” eyes, so I will just send a neighbourhood kid to go dishing it out to as far as the leaf can go.